It is interesting to me that I can be sitting on my front porch and all of a sudden be slammed by some sound or smell that takes me back to the jungles. The other night I was sitting on my porch playing a video game on my Ipod when all of a sudden I had this "weight" hit me squarely on my head. I could feel the presence of some of the guys that I had seen die in Vietnam. Just standing in front of me wondering why I was there and they were where ever the hell they were. Sometimes this fucking world seems so overpowering that I don't know what to do. Were it not for my family I would check out.
Just another "Nam" thing.
Peace
Charles
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Rock and Roll to the Rescue
Today I listened to part of my collection of songs. They are mostly Rock and Roll with a few 40s and 50s favorites.
While listening I realized that Rock and Roll probably saved my life and kept me from going crazy while I was In-Country. I can remember walking down trails looking for the enemy and at the same time, hearing the Beach Boys in my brain. It helped me from being scared shit less. Now that my friend PTSD has reared its ugly head, I have fallen back on listening to those same songs that kept me sane. Yeah, I know that I am older but the songs are still as young as they were when I was 18. Sort of makes me feel anchored. I am also reminded that the only people that understand Vietnam Veterans are Vietnam Veterans. Family can love and try to understand but when the rubber hits the road, its the Vietnam Veterans who I rely on to help me make it from day to day. (My Vet group)
Don't misunderstand me, my family (wife and sons} are great and very supportive but I know that they can not understand what we went through in that place so long ago. Its the people that actually went there, humped the hills, smelled the gunpowder, seen the bodies, the destruction, the tears, the heartaches, and the total commitment we had for each other that I know understand.
So as the song goes, "Rock and Roll to the rescue, you know it rescued me and it will rescue you."
Thanks Brian, Dennis, Carl, Mike, Al, and Bruce: The Beach Boys.
While listening I realized that Rock and Roll probably saved my life and kept me from going crazy while I was In-Country. I can remember walking down trails looking for the enemy and at the same time, hearing the Beach Boys in my brain. It helped me from being scared shit less. Now that my friend PTSD has reared its ugly head, I have fallen back on listening to those same songs that kept me sane. Yeah, I know that I am older but the songs are still as young as they were when I was 18. Sort of makes me feel anchored. I am also reminded that the only people that understand Vietnam Veterans are Vietnam Veterans. Family can love and try to understand but when the rubber hits the road, its the Vietnam Veterans who I rely on to help me make it from day to day. (My Vet group)
Don't misunderstand me, my family (wife and sons} are great and very supportive but I know that they can not understand what we went through in that place so long ago. Its the people that actually went there, humped the hills, smelled the gunpowder, seen the bodies, the destruction, the tears, the heartaches, and the total commitment we had for each other that I know understand.
So as the song goes, "Rock and Roll to the rescue, you know it rescued me and it will rescue you."
Thanks Brian, Dennis, Carl, Mike, Al, and Bruce: The Beach Boys.
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